The real title to this blog is Sexual And Hidden Sins, Especially In the Christian Realm, But Everywhere, And What We Can Do About it. That was too long in my opinion to put in the title section, but I still wanted to share it. I’m doing this blog in response to a comment I received on YT and wanted more of a proper space to respond.
So, anyone is welcome to join the conversation. You can believe I am sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong if you want, and say so, or not.
sunshineable5197 :
I have spent nearly forty years praying about this matter, ever since I was in junior high. I became aware of this issue when I was in fourth grade (approx age of 9 years old) when my own father was arrested for sexually touching a little girl that lived across the street from our house. I then became aware that sexual abuse had been happening under my own roof. My parents met in Bible college. Our family went to church as a family, from the time before I was even born (I have two older sisters).
Throughout my years I have done my best to listen to what is happening in regard to this issue. I wish I had done better. There is information that I am learning about, this calendar year (2023), that I didn’t know was happening. Was I told and just didn’t have ears to hear or was it never talked about? I’m not sure, but I sure am going to talk about it now.
On the issue of modesty. I was not talking about your sweatpants. I couldn’t even see your sweatpants. Your tank top is what people are talking about. You are fortunate to be a very beautiful young lady and that coupled with your tank top, makes you very attractive to many people. Yes, people have the responsibility to control their thoughts and actions. But, the rest of us, and I include men as they can dress just as sexual as a woman can. And there are some men that shouldn’t be walking around in tank tops either. I actually, just the other day viewed a video of a pastor talking, and his tight pants and tapered shirt stood out to me. Now, personally, I didn’t think any lustful thoughts thankfully, but how he was dressed did stand out to me. One of the thoughts I did have, was, “Wow, I bet he would look super hot to some homosexual man just as much to some women might think he looks hot.”
So, modesty does not just apply to us women, but to everyone, including men. I incidentally would and do where sweatpants to church as they are baggy and don’t show off my butt. My husband and I have had many talks about what women wear in church, at the mall or store, or where ever. He has let me know what the men deal with and I have changed my behavior even more than before we were married. A couple years before we got married, I came across an article, and it was a hard copy article, because we didn’t have the internet back then. This article talked about some of the tactics used in the fashion industry to incognito sexual designs in clothing, especially woman’s. I shortly after that went to church, just to see one of the ladies on the praise team wear a dress, that full on had a design that pointed straight to her vaginal area. It was a nice dress. I would never have seen that had I not read that article. But, I knew right then, every man sitting there in the congregation, saw it and knew. I did proceed to tell her after church was over. I never saw her wear that dress again.
If us woman are not willing to see the true issues of being modest and acting accordingly, then yes we are also at fault at these sins that men are committing. Should these men act on their thoughts, NO, a BIG NO. But, us ladies HAVE TO do EVERYTHING we can to not be part of their downfalls. Men are visual. Yahweh made them that way. That is not their fault. And that gives us women more responsibility to not give the men visual stimuli, as best we can. Its not easy, especially with the allowances that our society in general gives.
I just came across a song by Benny Hester in my playlist last night – Secret Thoughts. I was saying to myself, us Christians need to listen to this song again. We all deal with secret thoughts that we entertain and then act on, which then brings sin into fruition. My husband tells a story of when he was in Bible college. The young men were trying to let the young women of the school understand that what some of them were wearing was causing issues. The response of the girls, “Well, then don’t look.” That thinking is absolutely unacceptable. That is NOT how Godly women act and respond. So, again, for you not to take responsibility for your own actions – wearing a form fitting tank top on camara, talking about sexual abuse in the church realm – is unacceptable. And we are telling you so. I will present my credentials of being an older woman in the church and your elder, and ask you to give me the respect I’m due. You don’t have to, you have a Yahweh given free will. I understand how you may feel, I’ve been there, I am there. None of us likes being told what to do. And I’m not past breaking my own rules at times. We all play the hypocrite at one time or another.
I by all means am not trying to minimize what Mike Bickle has done. If what is being said is true, then he has done horrible things. But Jane Doe has to take responsibility for the part she played in all that has happened. Us women are often not 100% innocent in any given situation. Even 1%, is still a percentage. And that one percent taken away, may not seem to do anything for making the situation better, but it still needs to be taken away. Then we can have what we really want as women, to blame the men 100%. Because that IS what we want, ladies. Eve started it and we are still trying to finish it. Part of the curse that Yahweh said to Eve, was she would want to usurp her husband for the rest of her life. And we women are still trying to do that to ALL the men. THAT IS FACT.
There is much more to be said, (discussing Church Militant’s scandal is one of them as that deals with the hidden sin issue, along with hidden sins of politicians and CEOs), but I am already risking losing people with how long this is. And my next push is to get my webcam equipment so that I can get back to making videos on my YT channel. But I do think here on WP this stuff needs to be talked about too, so there’s that.
As always, I do say Yeshua’s Blessings on all of us as we try to navigate our sin nature and walk in Holy Spirit. Prayers for everyone – Susan.
ladysheepdog 
Wow, Susan, I imagine that woman was mortified by her dress once she realized what men could be thinking!
I’m honestly relieved I’m not young anymore. Like you, I spend most of my time in sweatpants, so I don’t worry about inciting lust! I’m torn about the mike buckle thing because I think he was much older than the alleged victim, and it’s hard for me to find any fault in a younger victim. When I was a young woman, I was SUCH a people pleaser that I have a hard time blaming young woman for much of anything if I think they’re struggling like I once did.
I try to be understanding, but I have been in two situations that I protected myself in. One when I was still in elementary – My mother had me stay with her female co-worker’s on a Saturday so she could go do whatever, I don’t remember any more. This lady was probably in her thirties. She had kids and was married. Her husband was not home that day. Some other man came over to her apartment, he was about the same age. Not sure of who he was and how he knew her. He started chasing me and all I could think was it wouldn’t be good if he caught me. So I ran. I ran for about an half an hour. I hid behind the parked cars on the street. Which he chased me around them. I was getting tired and was praying for relief. Maybe he would give up and go sit down or go in the apartment. Nope, he was still chasing me when my mother fortunately arrived to pick me up. I told her what happened on the way home in the car. She was very dismayed. I’m sure it brought back bad memories from my father.
Second – when I was in my early twenties, a co-worker/intern from the chiropractic college I worked at asked me to his apartment. He was in his forties. I didn’t know how to say no, so I went. That is on me 100%. I take full blame. He lived right by the beach and he suggested we go for a walk along the bike/walking path that goes right by the beach. I realized he was wanting to go farther physically than I wanted, so when we decided to head back to his apartment, I walked faster than him and actually took a different path than him. I did hang out at his apartment and watch the Earth Day celebration on tv with him, but I made sure I sat away from him. And I know he knew I had a wall up. And yes, I was trying not to be “rude” so didn’t leave prior to the tv watching, but he knew full well if he tried anything, he wasn’t going to get away with it. Maybe he just wanted to be kissy huggy, hold hands and nothing more, but I didn’t even want that from him. We didn’t know each other well enough for that. I shall never know his full intentions as I never let it go that far or he never tried to escalate things, for that I’m grateful.
I do know that walking with confidence, with your head up and with a strong sense of being, will deter many things from happening. Its not 100%, so I try to be compassionate. But we woman have to protect ourselves (by our demeanor, how we dress and using our brains) as much as we can and then leave the rest to Yeshua. Amen?
Your input is much appreciated.
I’m glad you were able to deter many situations. Praise God for that! I think protecting yourself is a good idea, but I don’t know that I can say it will work 100 percent of the time. Some women do everything “right” and still get sexually assaulted in violent ways. Either way, I pray. My opinion on this is really irrelevant, and I offer it only because you asked, but I think my focus is on praying about these issues because my opinion, one way or another, doesn’t bear any fruit.
I hope that makes sense over the internet!
I did say that, so I agree its not 100% across the board. It is also about teaching and learning what to say to potential victims to keep them from being victims as best we can. And to help those already victimize, recognized their victimization and help them say something as early as possible and help with their healing and stopping the person doing the harm. And lastly, to hopefully stop any abuse before it happens.
You have more input and fruit bearing than you think you have or can have, believe me.
I will go ahead and do that part 2 of this series. You have a child, and boys can be victimized just as much as girls can. Its important for all parents, aunts & uncles, grandparents, siblings, neighbors – everyone.
Thanks for you input. I know you have more to say, even if you haven’t learned/realized what that is yet. Hugs. I know you are doing the best you can. I encourage everyone to do better because I believe we can.
A well written message! It brought back many things God has worked on in me in my life. I have learned so much about how I present myself to others as I have grown in my relationship with Jesus. I will share one thing God spoke to me about years ago. When I was much younger me and my girlfriends to make ourselves feel better we would dress up and go out and play what we called the beer game. We would go to a club and one at a time enter to see how many beers we could get the guys to drop by just walking by. A vain and selfish way to boost our fragile egos. Skip ahead years after quitting this activity, I hear God tell me that we had committed adultery even though we did not pick up any men on these outings. He said that we had caused men to commit sin in their minds with our behavior. We did not know who was single or married but either way what we did was a sin because we made ourselves stumbling blocks. So I had to repent even though it had been years. There dozens of other things God has taught me about modesty and self respect. Thanks for sharing this I will definitely read part two.
And this is what I’m talking about. Seeing where each of us is part of the problem and taking action to change our behavior. Thanks for reading and commenting. One day at a time.
you are so mature in spiritual love and awareness. 🕊🕊blessings Susan!
Not as much as I want and could be. I’m working on it. I’m mostly just fed up. I do want things I say to be more towards the positive for change in all of us, including myself. I never just point my finger at someone else, as I know I have three pointing back at myself, right?
Thanks for stopping by and reading and commenting. Yeshua’s Blessings on you and yours as we all take one day at a time.